Airy tribulations

I was going over to my doctor's place from London to Patna..had booked the tickets well in advance Economy class in Air Dhakkan to offset the magnanimous rise in flight charges due to spiralling white petrol prices due to the war in Lebanon.
My doctor, Mr.Osama (no pun intended!!) was a specialist in treating STDs..He had completed his D.M from PSU (Penis-ylvania State Univer-city)..Please ignore the spelling mistakes made intentionally to drive home the point.He was treating me for a disease whose name I forget all the time..but the recovery procedure involved me personally delivering my 3-day old urine sample at his clinic for further elaborate tests.

I landed at the Hea-throw Airport well in advance because Air Dhakkan is universally reknowned for its on-time efficiency..I proceeded for the security check-up at the first announcement..A long,serpentine queue of passengers weas behind me by the time I was face-to-face with the security staff..I,with a long-grown beard was carrying my two-day old urine sample in a plastic,transparent pouch in my hand-baggage,as had been broadcast numerous times on National TV to avoid any inconvenience.
I will now recount the conversation between myself(RK) and the security staff(henceforth referred to as SS)

SS: Hello Sir,May I have the privilege of brwosing through the contents of your hand baggage?
RK: Yes...my pleasure
(Seeing the liquid pouch) SS:Whats in that pouch??
RK: My pee
SS(looking flabberagsted,unsure of what he had heard): sure??
RK: yes..i'm going to see my doctor back home for some emdical tests.
SS: Whats the doctor's name?
RK: Mr Osama
SS(looking at the beautiful girl behind me):Please repeat..
RK:Mr Osama Laden
SS: If the pouch contains what you say it is, would you ke kind enough to drink a little of it?
RK: M^&*(F(&k$% do you know what you are requesting me to do?
SS: Yes, Sir..This is as per the new effective rules.
RK: That is two days old..and Anyways, I'm not going to do whatever u asked for, u SOB!!
(After talking on his walkie-talkie with his superior): Sir, would you please move away from the queue..We have an emergency.
RK: whats all this about?
SS: Sir,Air Dhakkan values the lives of its passengers..we have some questions which you need to clarify.
RK:Bullshit!!*%$&() ^&**&*
SS:No foul language,Mr Kumar.
SS: Why have you grown that long beard, Sir?
RK: Its my prerogative to have hair on my F^&*ing body wherever I want, as$hole.
SS: Sir,This is the last time you are being cordially requested to drink your pee..Otherwise.......
RK: To hell with cordiality,I repeat I'm not going to drink that.

By this time, a couple of Goliathesque guards troop over..They catch hold of me by the collar and move me away from the queue.Millions of eyes staring at me for no fault of mine..I was cursing my doctor and the f*&^ing disease I was afflicted with!!
I was taken to a chamber at the end of the hallway..What happened after I leave it to your imagination!!

Note: This blog was written while I was being transported in a high-security van to Al-Gharaib prison.